Inebriates destroy intimacy, says Dr. Ron Clavier

“We’d better get it right,” Dr. Ron Clavier warned Senior School students on January 20 in his talk about sexual relationships and how they are affected by the use of alcohol and drugs.

A clinical psychologist with a background in neuroscience, Dr. Clavier began by talking about lowly single-celled creatures that have no ability to control over what they take into their bodies. Humans have this control, but they often ignore the warnings of their prefrontal cortex, ingesting toxic substances like alcohol or tobacco purely for pleasure.

We induce “a mistaken idea of reality,” he explained. “We like to amuse ourselves by getting [reality] wrong.”

Such a mistaken idea of reality often sets in when people initiate a relationship with a member of the opposite sex, he said. “Many of the sexual experiences you have will be carried out under the influence of drugs, specifically alcohol.” Alcohol makes us forget our inhibitions, but any relationship founded on a false view of reality is bound to fail, Dr. Clavier warns.

The tendency to always drink in social situations “interferes with your ability to form intimate, trusting relationships.”

“Intimacy in a serious relationship is the most valuable prize you will win in your life,” he says. On the other hand, a relationship founded on a false view of reality is “the antithesis of intimacy.”

“Anyone who drinks alcohol for social reasons is trying to cover something up.”

“The part about trust was one of the highlights of his speech,” says Nick Aziz (Grade 10) He felt Dr. Clavier was more forthright than speakers who rely on the “fear factor” to discourage young people from using drugs.

Sean Eggar (Gr. 10) also liked Dr. Clavier’s reasoned approach and the fact that he used his own life experiences to make his points. “He seemed to know what he was talking about.”

Erik Vincelli-Gregory (Gr. 10) agreed that Dr. Clavier’s blending of social and scientific worked well. “He wasn’t talking down to us,” he says. “He talked at our level.”

All three Grade 10 students agreed that most of their classmates enjoyed Dr. Clavier’s talk and felt they learned something from it.

From Dr. Clavier’s website:

Dr. Ron Clavier was born in Montreal. Following his undergraduate studies at McGill University, he earned his Doctorate in Experimental and Physiological Psychology from Northwestern University. His Postdoctoral training was in Biochemical Psychiatry at the University of British Columbia. Ron then taught Anatomy and Psychology in medical schools in Chicago and Vancouver.

Since 1982, he has run a private practice in clinical psychology, basing it on his background as a neuroscientist.

In addition to his private practice, Ron consults in the corporate, law enforcement, community, health, and education sectors. He worked for a number of years as Research Consultant in psychiatry at the University of Toronto and was Senior Consultant to the Council on Drug Abuse until 2007. Ron’s television series, Adolescence: The Stormy Decade was broadcast on Canadian television until 2007. His books Teen Brain, Teen Mind (2005) and Risky World (2010) help teenagers and those who work with them cope with the difficulties of this phase of life.

Recognized as an expert in adolescent psychology, Ron Clavier writes an advice column that appears monthly in the national magazine Canadian Living. His advice ranges in topics from drug abuse to body image, from communication to rules and expectations.